When I finished my Afternoon Meditation - (Okay ! Okay !! My nap !) - I looked around and noticed the kitchen floor could use a good sweeping,so I activated Roomba , my little robot carpet sweeper,and put her to work.
Roombas (that's a Registered Trade Name, by the way) are not that bright,and they will sometimes ignore the spots you really want them to sweep , because they like to scoot in under things,and bump into furniture, and turn circles. They do a good job, but it is better not to watch how they do it. ( Most folks really don't want to watch sausage being made , or to know exactly what their teenagers are doing at all times either.)
So, I grabbed my coffee, and went out to the patio, where I discovered Mr. Meangenes chuckling to himself as he browsed through my morning paper : a paper he had obviously taken from my recycling stand. Not that I really minded , you understand. It's just that I am sometimes not as tolerant of others when I get up from my ....meditations.
"What's so funny ?", I growled.
" Iran. The Iranian Parliament wants to declare the CIA a "terrorist organization." That's about like the fire criticizing the kettle for being too hot , isn't it ? "
" C'mon ! The CIA is scary in a way. It's frightening how inept and impotent they really are ; and it's downright scary how far they will go to cover up their stupidity and their blunders !"
" Sounds about right to me ! Have you been out here long ? "
" Oh, no. I just stopped by on my way home from church. I went to St. David's this morning to hear your Son-in-law preach."
"Ah ! The Deacon. How did he do ? "
" He was a little nervous at first , but he wound up giving a pretty good sermon."
" It was about sharing ," Mr. Meangenes added enthusiatically. " You see, there was this rich man, who lived in a nice house, and had plenty to eat and drink. He even drank wine that came in cork-top bottles, instead of that nasty screw-top stuff."
Meangenes leaned forward. " There was also a poor man. He barely had enough to eat, nothing to drink but cheap draft beer (that was half suds) from the local slop chute, and no place to sleep except the street in front of the rich man's home."
" Then...", Meangenes snapped his fingers. " Both men died - just like that !"
" When the rich man opened his eyes again, he discovered he was in Hades , and that it was ( as you might imagine) hot as Hell there. He looked around, and there,just out of reach, was the poor man: snug in the gardens of Abraham, and scarfing down bottles of ice-cold Yuengling Lager !"
" This distressed the rich man no end, and he called out to Father Abraham: " Hey ! How about sending that good-for-nothing bum down here with something so I can wet my whistle ? It's hot and dry down here !!"
I frowned. I haven't done a whole lot of bible reading in the last 30-40 years,but the version Meangenes was relating seemed a bit ...I don't know. A bit askew I guess .
Meangenes ignored my frown. His expression was as guiless as that of a child. "Well, now: Father Abraham told the rich man " No dice !" ; then he reamed him out like an old Gunny Sergeant. " Did you ever take pity on this poor lad here ? When he was hungry and thirsty, did you offer to take him down to the slop chute for a burger and some suds ? Did you ?"
" The rich man answered : " Sir, no sir, I didn't."
" Father Abraham really got in his face then - which was kind of difficult,because of the inseparable chasm between Heaven and Hell - and he roared : " You mean you sat there in your nice house with your cork-top wine, and your silly little Roomba,while some poor soul wasn't able to buy a beer because his pension check hadn't cleared at the bank, and his ATM didn't want to know him ...??"
"Whoa !", I shouted. "Time out !! I get your message, you old coot !"
I dug out my wallet. " How much this time ?"
Mr. Meangenes snatched a twenty and stood up to leave. " Thank you for sharing !"
I watched him leave: wondering why I didn't feel better about my "charitable act".
Verily, verily: Blessed are the glib of speech, for they shall wind up with all that is not nailed down !