" I've been selected as Taxpayer of the Year" !, she honked.
I really don't like getting honked at by geese : especially when I'm still working on my first cup of coffee , but I decided to be polite.
" Geese pay taxes ? I know you make a lot of "deposits",but I never thought of them as bankable-much less taxable ! Then again, the government taxes almost everything ... "
"Speaking of deposits, would you mind confining yourself to the grass ? "
" A lot you know !", she hissed. " I pay my Income Tax the minute it becomes due - which is why I'm getting an award !"
"How were you notified ? Was there a letter written on the wind, or what ?"
"Oh, no !", she burbled. " I got a call on my cell phone - just about an hour ago."
I took another sip of my coffee and waited: remembering something my daughter had mentioned last night.
"Yes," she exclaimed. " It was a very nice man who sounded as if he might be from India ; and he said, because I was so prompt in paying my taxes, the IRS was going to send me a $ 10,000 reward - tax free - to spend on anything I wanted. "
I put my coffee cup down-very carefully-to keep from spraying hot beverage all over the table. This sounded like the same story my daughter had told me.
" I thought he might be pulling my wing," she continued. " But he told me he was dead serious, and that he wanted to prove it by wiring the reward money to me right away."
"Hmm...", I mused. " I imagine he asked you where you bank, and what your account number was..."
"Exactly !", she honked. " It took me a few minutes to find the Pass Book in my purse,but he was very nice about it; and he had me read the number back to him twice, to make sure he had it right. What a lovely man !"
" So," I said. "You should be getting your money any time now."
" Oh,yes !", cried Ms Goose. " I should hear from the bank about money transfers sometime today !"
As she waddled off to sample some of my sweetgrass - (leaving a trail of "goose gifts" behind her) - I stifled a chuckle. My daughter had been asked for her banking information too, but had countered with : "But you people have that already ! My tax refunds are all sent by direct deposit. "
That hadn't set too well with the "IRS Agent" . "You won't give me your account number ? Well, then f**** you, you pissy bi*** !"
In case you're wondering why I didn't tell Ms Goose she had just been swindled, the answer is simple.
I hate geese !
ps: There really IS such a scam ! Apparently,some of those wonderful Information Technology folks from India, Bangaladesh, and elsewhere have been marketing the information our corporations send them - in some cases, to scam artists.