Ms Owl - who is generally quite elegant- looked a bit worse for wear when she fluttered in this morning.
"Wow !", I exclaimed - a bit tactlessly." You look as if you had a rough weekend !"
She yawned. " Just an attack of Sermonitis. I spent too much time in church this weekend ."
"Owls go to church ?"
" Yes: churches, mosques, temples, ashrams. We visit them all."
" Oh....kay. You go to church.... What on earth do owls get out of going to church ?"
Ms Owl blinked. " We get to meet church mice, of course !"
" Ah. And when you meet these mice you ....?"
" We ...invite them to dinner. Look : It's a very straightforward arrangement : Nobody wants a bunch of mice rustling around during services, and leaving droppings in the pews,or on the mats,or the prayer rugs; so the caretakers ( I believe you call yours "Sextons" ) let us in ."
" We perch up on the rafters, and other out-of-the-way places, and we're very careful to leave our droppings elsewhere ; so, apart from the caretakers, nobody is the wiser."
" I'll be darned !", I exclaimed. "It sounds like a win-win situation !"
Ms Owl blinked, then turned her head to look over her shoulders. (It's a bit disconcerting to watch,because she does it so fast, it looks like the possessed girl in "The Exorcist" .)
" To tell you the truth,the sermons drive me a little bit crazy sometimes !",she whispered conspiratorially.
"It's pretty much the same -wherever you go," she explained. " The Minister,or Rabbi, or Imam, or Priest,or whatever takes a bit of scripture,or shuria, or sacred writ,and tries to explain to the congregation how following this teaching will improve their spiritual lives."
"For example, a preacher might take the story of the poor widow,who had only a tiny bit to give-but gave it all- to suggest to the congregation they would be better off-spiritually-to donate a few hundred to the needy, than to buy a new I-pod."
"In other words", she continued. " The preacher is "selling" an idea to the congregation; but unfortunately ", She shook her head dolefully. " Unfortunately a lot of preachers ignore one of the most important rules of salesmanship: Make your sales pitch, and then shut up !"
" I get to listen to a lot of sermons in a lot of different places; and too often, when the preacher sees the congregation getting restless and glassy-eyed, he or she jumps to the conclusion they didn't understand the message, and it needs further explanation. Wrong ! They got the message ten minutes ago-which is when the sermon should have ended !"
Ms Owl shrugged. " I feel sorry for the poor congregations, but I suppose it's no down off my feathers ! "
She spread her wings, and prepared to take off. "Tell you one thing:", she called. "I'm glad I'm better at capturing mice than some preachers are at capturing hearts and minds !"
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