" The nerve of him !", she squawked . " The man has no couth whatsoever !"
Seeing what she was about to do on my patio, I grabbed the rake and pushed her-none too gently-onto the lawn.
"Settle down !", I told her sharply. "What's all this fuss and feathers about ?"
" Nicholas Sarkozy !", she hissed venomously. " The President of France."
She began pacing back and forth: leaving nastly little deposits behind her. " We went to a great deal of trouble setting up an interview with that damn ...that damn....I - can't-say-it-cause-I'll-get-fired ,and he got up - just as we were getting started - and he walked out on me ! "
" Wow ! Sarkozy is about the first French President in 30 years who isn't openly hostile to the United States. He's been traveling all over on peace negotiations,and getting a positive response. Was that what you wanted the viewers to learn ? "
Ms Goose honked derisively. " Don't be stupid ! Most of our viewers are women-and they don't want hear all that silly crap. Bor- ing !"
"Is that what your network thinks about American women ?"
" Of course ! That's why we talk down to them. We knew American women wouldn't want to hear about world peace. They'd want to hear all the juicy details about Sarkozy's divorce ! "
"So, let me get this straight: You asked a man who is in the middle of a divorce to talk about it-to millions of viewers ? What did he say ?"
" He said he didn't want to comment on it. Well: I wasn't about to take that from him ,so I asked him again !"
"I had the feeling you were going to say that . Just a hunch, you understand."
" He said he wasn't going to talk about it. Then he got up, took the microphone off, and walked out, the louse !"
Ms Goose got more and more agitated, and I was finally forced to drive her off by swinging the rake at her.
As I watched her fly away, I had to resist the impulse to snap to attention and shout: " Vive le France !"