Wolf Awareness Week Ends: Werewolf Week Begins !

According to my National Wildlife calendar, Wolf Awareness Week began on Wednesday  October 17th,2007, and ended on Tuesday,October 23rd. I suppose any week that begins on a Wednesday and ends on a Tuesday is "special" ; but - to tell you the truth, I did not encounter any wolves on my patio. (If you click on the image, you'll probably understand why I am reasonably grateful for that fact.)

It's not marked on my Wildlife calendar (I'm not sure why !) but Thursday, October 25th should mark the beginning of Werewolf Awareness Week : a seven day period that would end on Wednesday, October 31st -better known hereabouts as Hallowe'en.

I don't understand why a big conservation-oriented group like The National Wildlife Federation has not recognized the ecological value of werewolves -which,after all is said and done, perform a great service to humanity by thinning the herd (as it were).

Without constant depredation by werewolves, even more people would move out of New Jersey into Eastern Pennsylvania : buying large homes, talking with that funny accent,and congesting the roadways for hundreds of miles around.

Werewolves are, moreover, our closest relatives in the animal kingdom : so close many are able to pass themselves off as IRS agents, Jehovah's Witnesses,and Life Insurance salesmen  Estate Planners.

So, in honor of this endangered and struggling sub-species , please join me in celebrating Werewolf Awareness Week. Select a particularly troublesome relative, neighbor, or co-worker - or even one of those noisy politicians who keep telephoning you when you are ...indisposed - and tie this "little offering" securely to a tree ; out in the boondocks somewhere.

If we all carry out this this little "act of propitiation" next week, we will aid the Werewolves immensely - and make our world ever so much nicer !

This just in ! I have received an e mail from the "Loup Garou Ladies' Auxilliary:

1. "Please do not leave politicians out there for us. They are slimey,nasty on the inside,and extremely "gassy" !

2. Some of our crowd do indeed work as tele-marketers , but we hate to admit it !

3. Happy Hallowe'en,Walpurgisnacht, or whatever, hear ? "