Conversations With a Rabbit : Here We Go Again !

Ms Rabbit seemed a bit out-of-sorts when we met on the patio this afternoon.

"How come you never stop by and chat any more ?",she asked plaintively.

"It has been a bit chilly out here,lately," I answered lamely. " And I've been kind of busy."

" I noticed," Ms Rabbit responded crisply. " You were hanging out with that old reprobate, Mr. Meangenes just the other day."

There was a long, uncomfortable silence. Finally, I said: " Okay ! Okay !! It's like this: some people say I'm crazy because I talk to rabbits."

" What other rabbits do you talk to ? ", she asked frostily.

"None," I amended hastily. " You're the only rabbit I talk to - and some people say I'm crazy ."

" Humph !  Are these people your friends ? "

"No, no ! Quite the opposite !! They're mostly people who hate anybody who isn't exactly like them : Orientals, Blacks,Hispanics,Jews,Catholics,Episcopalians...it's a pretty long list."

"For example," I continued. "They call Mexicans "greasers", "wetbacks", and "turd world scum". The call black people "porch monkeys" -when they are feeling charitable,and the Protocols of Zion is like Holy Writ to them; but when a furniture store , which deals with a lot of Latinos put up a sign that made unflattering reference to the word "Gringo" ,they nearly went into orbit."

"Some of them declare their allegiance to a new "Confederate States of America".They stockpile weapons and explosives,and talk openly about the "revolution" they are going to launch...but they claim their government is committing "treason" because it won't stop everything and give them what they want...right now ! "

"So, what do you ? Do you...argue with them or something ?"

"All the time ; and, to them, that makes me a crazy old coot who talks to rabbits."

" Well...you do talk to rabbits ! You're talking to me right now !!"

I threw up my hands in surrender. " Guilty as charged, I guess. And yes , I am an old coot - same age as Mr. Meangenes, as a matter of fact-but  I'm still able to remember the oath of loyalty to my country that I gave as a young man . I'm not going to violate that oath - ever; and if that  makes me crazy...so be it !"

Ms Rabbit twitched her nose thoughtfully. " I suppose I should say something that would bring this conversation to a rousing conclusion....but the truth of the matter is: I believe I smell raisins on your breath !"

I rolled my eyes. " You've got a good nose ! Chocolate-covered raisins. The Girl Scouts were selling them last week. Shall I bring out the can ?"

Ms Rabbit wiggled her ears. " I thought you'd never ask ! "

Comments

[Christian S]

I didn't think ANYONE hated Episcopalians!

[Brad Higgins]

Hi Gene,
Have enjoyed your emails. If you don't have a column in the newspaper, you should.
Brad