"See-Through" Scanner Protest On My Patio !

When I came downstairs this morning, I heard a wild commotion in my back yard. Fearing the worst, I grabbed a baseball bat for protection and checked the patio.

Ms Goose was out there: honking and hissing in her usual loud and (Dare I say it ?) obnoxious way. To make matters worse, it was obvious she (or one of her confederates) had turned the hose on.

I hadn't had my coffee yet, and was definitely NOT in the mood for such shenanigans !

"Hey !", I shouted, stepping out briskly and turning the hose off.

"Hey, yourself !", Ms Goose hissed back. She eyed me sardonically. " Nice jockey shorts !"

"They're summer pajamas ," I answered defensively.

"Humph !", she sneered, turning her back. She resumed her god-awful yelling: " No more strip-tease ! No more scanners ! No more strip search !!"

"Hank-Hank !" , another voice chimed in.(He had a Canadian accent.)

It was beginning to look like a dad-blamed  convention in my yard.

"No more strip tease ! No more scanners ! No more strip search !!"

"KNOCK IT OFF !!!" , I shouted. What is this nonsense about ??

"Don't you read the papers ?", Ms Goose hissed. " Are you not aware new scanners that can see right through clothing are being put into service at major airports ??"

Glancing around , I saw more birds flying in. This thing was definitely getting out of hand. "No more strip tease ! No more scanners !! No more strip search !!!"

If I used force, would I be accused of violating their First Amendment rights ? If I grabbed a shotgun, would my Second Amendment rights trump their First Amendment rights. Would the Migratory Bird acts trump that ?

It's difficult to consider legal options when you haven't had your morning coffee yet !

 

"No more strip tease !", the Cardinal screamed. (Oh great ! Now religious issues were coming into play !)

I finally decided to give in to the aroma of fresh-brewed coffee,and let my feather-brained friends get it out of their systems.

Eventually, it would dawn on them, that-although they were very frequent flyers,none of them used airports for much of anything but "target practice" ; and they would leave the protesting to folks like you and me.

ps: Cardinal image courtesy of "Tsiya",whom I wish a speedy recovery.