Hang on the bell, Nellie Hang on the bell. Your poor father’s locked in the cold prison cell. As you swing to the left, an’ ya swing to the right, Remember the curfew must never ring tonight.
The scene is in the jailhouse-
When the curfew rings tonight, The man in #13 cell will go out like a light ; She knew her dad was innocent and so our little Nell, Tied her tender torso to the clapper of the bell. (Repeat Chorus)
It all began when Nelly said “No-no !” To Handsome Jack, She struggled as he tried to kiss her Down by the railroad track - Daddy come a runnin’ as the train came down the line, Jack stepped back across the track and paid the price of crime.
They arrested poor old Daddy An’ they took him ‘fore the Law, The Coppers said that handsome Jack Weren’t handsome anymore ! Nell, she cried and pleaded
But the jury did not care : They didn't have a sofa
So they sent him to the chair !
Oh they pulled upon the bellrope, But there was no ting a ling- They couldn't get the job done cuz The curfew would not ring. Poor Nell was up there swinging, While below they tugged and heaved- When suddenly a voice cried : "Stop !!" Ol’ geezer's been reprieved.
This is a bedtime story that
The warden likes to tell : The convicts listen to the tale
Of plucky little Nell Of how she saved her Dad that night, When the curfew could not ring- And tears stream down their faces As in harmony they sing.
Our “hero” is Warren Pigglesworth - disgraced scion of and heir to Nimnal Pigglesworth : 18th Earl of Pigglesworth : himself such a disgrace to the Nobility,many had hoped his father would have been last of the line…………but I digress, Gentle Reader !
Is this plot unnecessarily complicated ? Of course !!
Will it get worse as it unfolds ? Undoubtedly !!
Will one discover quite naughty passages in this book ? Pages would be more likely !!!
THE LADIES’ Hmmmmm..? JOURNAL is a publication for happening wymyn !
ps: Got a really confidential problem ? Confide in us, and-if possible-we’ll publish it so everybody knows –even that awful person at the Nail Salon !
We can almost guarantee things will get worse very, very soon-----but you’ll be famous, girlfriend !!