MINYAN MAN GOES TO WASHINGTON
Minyan Man - the Hasidic Super Hero was in a bad way when the signal came !
He had just been stuffed with kugel by "Doublewide Doris" : mother of Marsha - and the sweet noodle pudding was definitely his Achilles heel !
Doris was eager to "make a match" between Minyan Man and her (ne-er-do-well) daughter, and had hinted the (dimensionally-gifted) Marsha was a superb cook, who would prepare him kugel to die for, should he wed her.
"Imagine !", crowed Doris. " If you were married, you could wear a fashionable shtreimel -trimmed with finest rabbit fur ! A warm and stylish hat for Sabbath days ! "
Minyan Man had been weakening. Of late, he had curled his burgeoning sideburns, at the urging of Marsha-who felt curled peyos would complement her "look".
Marsha had also been whispering passionate little things in his ear : causing Minyan Man to break out in goosebumps ---even though he suspected (quite correctly) Marsha's idea of Sex After Marriage would be rather limited,
(Her idea was to assume the Missionary Position : head facing Kohl's; while voicing such endearments as " Is it in yet ?" - or - " Hurry up, 'cause I want to go shopping !" )
(He suspected crying " 20% off !! " during the act would bring her to shuddering climax.)
While he was pondering these matters, his Schmartie Phone suddenly began ringing !
Hava Nagila , Hava Nagila, Hava Nagila ve nis-mecha
Simultaneously, a blue Magen David six-pointed star began flashing on the view screen :
A CALL FOR MINYAN MAN !!!
Minyan Man was whisked to Washington, DC, where the 9 Associate Justices of the Supreme Court were in session.
His immediate reaction was to cry : " What ?? "
As the Initiated know, Minyan Man's role in our difficult world is to furnish the neccessary 10th devout man, when 9 devout male Jews wish to offer a Minyan prayer.
It is YOU KNOW WHO that whisks Minyan Man to the scene - but this time, Our Hero was puzzled.
There are 9 Justices - but only 2 are Jewish-and those 2 are WOMEN !!
Could this be YOU KNOW WHO'S idea of a joke ??
(That HE was capable of joking was beyond dispute : look at Dennis Rodman for example !)
At this moment, a Court Attendant walked over and asked : " Are you here for ACLU -vs- Bison Butt ??"
Consulting his Schmoozle app , Minyan Man learned the case before the Court involved kugel !
It seems the Bison Butt Board of Education (through its kitchen staff) , had been practicing Culinary Diversity ---and had offered Junior High School students kugel as a dessert.
This created a storm of controversy : Nutrition-minded parents claiming it was too high in tasty ingredients, and one intensely secular parent claiming the serving of kugel to helpless children was a Constitutionally-forbidden attempt to proseletyze them into Judaism.
" Ah !", cried Minyan Man. " I am indeed !"
As he strode manfully into the courtroom, a great sigh of relief went up from the sitting Justices.
" Oh Minyan Man !", cried the Chief Justice. " We need a LOT of prayer on this one ! "
"I'll say !" , thought Minyan Man.
Oy !! Will this set a precedent, or what ??
Better you shouldn't ask !!