FINNERAN LANE

The Eve of All Hallows......Bwa-ha-ha-ha !

It's that time of year again ! Samhain - or Hallowe'en : depending on your orientation.

Speaking of which (orientation,that is) , one of the most sought-after costumes or disguises in the San Francisco area is Larry Craig : the wide-stance, toe-tapping Senator who didn't exactly come out of the closet, so much as out of the stall in a mens' room: not realizing the other gentleman he was signalling was a cop. The Senator is now a sort of folk hero or figure of fun (take your pick) to the Alternative Lifestyle Community .

Speaking of Alternative Lifestyles , these Trolls reminded me of a story I read yesterday. It seems some sort of Internet Trolls have been sending out tens of thousands of Spam E mails on behalf of a certain presidential candidate from the Southwest - who will, I suppose disavow them.The "spammings" all tell wonderful stories about the candidate,how he is leading in the polls,etc.

These Virtual Trolls are operating out of The Netherlands, Nigeria, Indonesia,and various countries of what used to be the Balkans : using the same servers the so-called 9/11 Truthers use (a coincidence, no doubt)- and apparently sharing E mail lists with the Nigerian scammers.

 

Don't look so surprised ! You KNEW I was going to put her picture here !

Yes, I have seen more flattering pictures of Senator Clinton,and I'm sure she is a very nice lady. Who knows ? She might be just what America needs right now .....BUT, If she shows up on my porch with her Trick or Treat bag, I'm  going to lock all the doors, turn out the lights, and hide under the covers !

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha !!

And now, for your Hallowe'en pleasure, a song I wrote , many years ago , while camping in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey : birthplace of the legendary

Jersey Devil

Deep in the Jersey Barrens

Outside the town of Leeds

There lived a lonesome widder-

No man to tend her needs.

------------------------

Then, one All Hallows' Evenin'

When the moon was pale an' white

She cried : “I'd let ol Satan hisself

Come share my bed tonight.”

Chorus

Keep to the middle of the trail,friend

When the moon is pale an' white-

An' build up the fire at the ol' campsite:

The Devil walks tonight !!

2

Ol' Scratch he come a courtin'-

Kept her dancin' till the dawn:

One year later to the day

The Devil's child was born !

-----------------------

Oh, when she saw that baby

The widder give a wail:

He looked just like his Daddy-

Complete with horns an' tail !!

(Chorus)

3

The moral of this story

Is easy fer to see :

The Devil's always willin'

To furnish company !

------------------

So, gentlemen be on your toes:

Better treat them ladies right-

Or that ol' Jersey Devil

Might take yer place some night !!

(Chorus)

This Just In !! (Startling Events and Shocking Stories)

GIANT SQUIRRELS ON RAMPAGE ! I knew nobody would believe this story, so I posted a corroborating photo. Click thumbnail to enlarge-if you dare ! Thank heavens our brave troops were nearby.....this time !!

EXCLUSIVE PHOTO OF DERBY WINNER ! (Click to enlarge) As you can see,the jockey in this race is definitely in need of a derby-although he seems (at last) to have found his head.

Ichabod Crane's nag - Teacher's Pet- didn't even place.

NEW CAT FOOD FROM CHINA : We understand this import is lead-free;however,it looks like a tough sell to us !

Coming soon to a Walmart near you ?

I think not.

ACLU FILES BRIEF OPPOSING "PUMPKIN WORSHIP": The courageous agency says American children have been exposed to the pernicious dogma of a "Great Pumpkin rising from a truly sincere pumkin patch" to shower gifts upon youthful devotees for much too long !

"Besides", an ACLU spokesperson commented. " We're getting awfully tired of those "Charlie Brown" re-runs every year !"

That's it for now. Just remember you saw it first because you saw it here !!!

President of France Walks Out on Interview with Ms Goose !

Ms Goose was all in a snit as she came flapping in this morning: honking and hissing,and fluttering her wings.

" The nerve of him !", she squawked . " The man has no couth whatsoever !"

Seeing what she was about to do on my patio, I grabbed the rake and pushed her-none too gently-onto the lawn.

"Settle down !", I told her sharply. "What's all this fuss and feathers about ?"

" Nicholas Sarkozy !", she hissed venomously. " The President of France."

She began pacing back and forth: leaving nastly little deposits behind her. " We went to a great deal of trouble setting up an interview with that damn ...that damn....I - can't-say-it-cause-I'll-get-fired ,and he got up - just as we were getting started - and he walked out on me ! "

" Wow ! Sarkozy is about the first French President in 30 years who isn't openly hostile to the United States. He's been traveling all over on peace negotiations,and getting a positive response. Was that what you wanted the viewers to learn ? "

Ms Goose honked derisively. " Don't be stupid ! Most of our viewers are women-and they don't want hear all that silly crap. Bor- ing !"

"Is that what your network thinks about American women ?"

" Of course ! That's why we talk down to them. We knew American women wouldn't want to hear about world peace. They'd want to hear all the juicy details about  Sarkozy's divorce ! "

"So, let me get this straight: You asked a man who is in the middle of a divorce to talk about it-to millions of viewers ? What did he say ?"

" He said he didn't want to comment on it. Well: I wasn't about to take that from him ,so I asked him again !"

"I had the feeling you were going to say that . Just a hunch, you understand."

" He said he wasn't going to talk about it. Then he got up, took the microphone off, and walked out, the louse !"

Ms Goose got more and more agitated, and I was finally forced to drive her off by swinging the rake at her.

As I watched her fly away, I had to resist the impulse to snap to attention and shout: "  Vive le France  !"

Hallowe'en : Pets in Distress !!

Some people like to dress up their pets in Hallowe'en costumes . As if this were not humiliation enough, they sometimes put the poor animal on public display:

" Oooh ! See how keeeee-ute my little Rapunzel is !!" (Which is another way of saying, "Look at ME ! See how CLEVER I AM !!" )

You may wonder what this poor dog is thinking. Could it be: " When I get home, I'm going to soil this woman's carpets in every possible way; then I'll roll in the mess, and rub myself clean on her new furniture. Yes. Yes. Pant-pant !"

At the risk of spoiling your digestion for the day, I have dredged up some additional images.

Behold :

"Iggy Iguana"

And here's:

Kira the cat. Doesn't she look thrilled ?

  This is:

  Rhesus the monkey,starring as an Arab Sheikh in someone's fantasy drama.

I'm...not too sure about this one , but I'd like to give the owner an earfull !!

Trick or Treat Bags

Ms Rabbit came hopping up just as I started making "trick or treat" bags.

She was quite a bit more friendly than usual,and her nose kept twitching uncontrollably.

"Mmmmm-mmmm !", she enthused. "Something smells awfully good !"

"It'll rot your teeth out ", I responded automatically. (I'm not sure why I said that. I suspect it's something parents and authority figures are expected to say.)

Having carried out my Adult-Duty-to-Spoil-Kids'-Fun , I hunted around the candy pile, came up with a bag of candy corn, and set some out for her.

"Mmmm...(Munch-munch)....What's the occasion ?"

"Hallowe'en. I'm making up Trick-or-Treat bags for the children."

Ms Rabbit froze in mid-munch and eyed me suspiciously , so I explained.

"Every Hallowe'en, children dress up in costumes, and go door-to -door, crying: " Trick or treat ! Trick or treat !" The adults hand them little bags of candy-and wave hello to the children's parents, who are out on the sidewalk, waiting for them.(Sometimes the parents bring their friends ; and they pass things around that make them quite congenial - but I never notice things like that !)

"Oh". Ms Rabbit relaxed visibly. " It sounds like fun. How did it get started."

"Ummm... That's a long story-so I'll just give you the short version. More candy corn ?"

I explained to my friend about the ancient Celts, and how they observed a festival called Samhain : on which evil spirits were permitted to roam the earth,seeking human company.

   

People would gather inside common shelters, and would light big watch fires to keep these spirits at bay. It was safe inside the shelter walls, and the only way the spirits could reach you was if you invited them in - so as might be expected, the spirits would play all sorts of tricks, in an effort to get some nincompoop to do just that !

"Oooh !" , said Ms Rabbit, edging closer. " That sounds scary !!"

Well, I explained. It might have been, at one time - but Irish children started imitating the evil spirits by doing mischievous things of their own...which made the spirits laugh so hard, they completely forgot whatever it was they were supposed to be doing. (Of course, the poteen they were sipping might have had a bit to do with it-but you never heard that from me ! )

" So", I continued , "Children engaged in acts of mischief on Hallowe'en - but you could bribe them by offering little bags of goodies...and then they'd soap your windows or do something more outrageous anyway ! "

" That used to be the way things were done , here in the good old USA- until the kiddies discovered they could get all the trick or treat candy they wanted - without having to think up and pull off tricks. I don't know: maybe it had something to do with TV ; or maybe it was just laziness; but then the adults started buying into the idea. Why not just buy a lot of candy, and ooh and ahh over the "cute little children" ?

Ms Rabbit looked longingly at another bag of candy corn - but she still had questions,and I knew she would not rest until she got some sort of answers.

"If the little boys and girls weren't making those evil Samhain spirits laugh anymore ,who was ? "

"Huh !" , I answered. " I never thought about that !"

She wasn't through yet. " If the evil spirits stopped laughing, wouldn't they go back to wreaking mischief on the world ?"

" Here ", I responded - a bit abruptly. " Take this bag of candy corn and run along now ! "

I went back to packaging little trick or treat bags , but my thoughts were elsewhere.

What year was it that kids stopped doing mischievous tricks ? Wasn't it about the same time the world - and the people in it  started sliding downhill ?

 

Wow ! Rabbits sure have a funny way of looking at things !!

Wolf Awareness Week Ends: Werewolf Week Begins !

According to my National Wildlife calendar, Wolf Awareness Week began on Wednesday  October 17th,2007, and ended on Tuesday,October 23rd. I suppose any week that begins on a Wednesday and ends on a Tuesday is "special" ; but - to tell you the truth, I did not encounter any wolves on my patio. (If you click on the image, you'll probably understand why I am reasonably grateful for that fact.)

It's not marked on my Wildlife calendar (I'm not sure why !) but Thursday, October 25th should mark the beginning of Werewolf Awareness Week : a seven day period that would end on Wednesday, October 31st -better known hereabouts as Hallowe'en.

I don't understand why a big conservation-oriented group like The National Wildlife Federation has not recognized the ecological value of werewolves -which,after all is said and done, perform a great service to humanity by thinning the herd (as it were).

Without constant depredation by werewolves, even more people would move out of New Jersey into Eastern Pennsylvania : buying large homes, talking with that funny accent,and congesting the roadways for hundreds of miles around.

Werewolves are, moreover, our closest relatives in the animal kingdom : so close many are able to pass themselves off as IRS agents, Jehovah's Witnesses,and Life Insurance salesmen  Estate Planners.

So, in honor of this endangered and struggling sub-species , please join me in celebrating Werewolf Awareness Week. Select a particularly troublesome relative, neighbor, or co-worker - or even one of those noisy politicians who keep telephoning you when you are ...indisposed - and tie this "little offering" securely to a tree ; out in the boondocks somewhere.

If we all carry out this this little "act of propitiation" next week, we will aid the Werewolves immensely - and make our world ever so much nicer !

This just in ! I have received an e mail from the "Loup Garou Ladies' Auxilliary:

1. "Please do not leave politicians out there for us. They are slimey,nasty on the inside,and extremely "gassy" !

2. Some of our crowd do indeed work as tele-marketers , but we hate to admit it !

3. Happy Hallowe'en,Walpurgisnacht, or whatever, hear ? "

Ms Goose Reports :The Mammal Menace !!

Ms Goose flew in this morning with more disturbing reports about something she calls " The Mammal Menace".

Being a mammal myself , I found myself beginning to wonder if she might be a little "specie-ist" -(Yes,there is such a word. It is sometimes used on college campi )- and overstatement-gifted , so I decided to look through her copy - (even though such an act might infer the paternalistic imposition of my judgment system upon her perhaps - equally-valid one.)

   I found this disturbing photo on top of her report. (Click thumbnail for details.) It was impressive at first, but then I remembered it had been sent in by an alert reader,who wished to refute Ms Goose's suggestion that the Suicide Squirrels had any connection to Islam.

The reader pointed out the fact the squirrel was drinking alcohol: something strictly forbidden by The Prophet (His name be blessed !). Clearly, this squirrel was an infidel , an apostate, and a dog (or squirrel) of an unbeliever !

It sounded pretty reasonable to me. I set the photo aside,and reached for Ms Goose's report again , but was interrupted by the arrival of Ms Rabbit.

"Good morning !", she called. " Do you happen to have any more of that Cranberry wine ? "

" It's a little early in the day for that", I demurred. " How about some nice Cheerios instead ?"

"Scrumptious ! What are we reading ? "

" Oh, Ms Goose has just turned in one of her exclusive stories. This one is about "The Mammal Menace" . Oh ? What have we here ? "

There was a picture showing Border Collies herding ducks - and reams of copy about Collies and Corgis being used to drive geese away from places where their droppings are creating problems.

There was even a copy of an ad from somebody in Howell, NJ -who offered to "get the flock out of there".

Mammal Menace ???

I'm not going to run a story like that !!!

I looked around for Ms Goose to tell her; but she had wandered into my neighbors' yard,and was busy fertilizing their lawn, their sidewalk, their pool cover...

Sorry, folks ! I guess there's nothing to write about today !!

Anthrax-Anthrax-Anthrax !! - (A Most Dangerous Game)

  In Part one, I discussed why I believe the Anthrax Murders of 2001 were not the work of al-Qaeda - although I did bring up the possibility they could have been the work of a well-trained and truly fanatical Black Muslim group. (See footnote at end of post.)

The following is a scenario I think might be more plausible : a small group of "misguided idealists" - who had been planning an Anthrax attack well before 9/11 - decided , as a means of concealing their identity , to "piggyback" their attack onto the 9/11 attack: taking steps to make it appear the work of Islamic fundamentalists - actually, the work of Black Muslims.( I say this, because the wording,sentence construction,spelling, etc. are much closer to what a White professional might think a Black Muslim would be expected to say, than they are to an al-Qaeda declaration.)

Some of these "idealists" ( the Project Organizers ) may have been anything but idealistic.

They may have been carrying out a paid commission from South American drug cartels, which were in danger of being put out of business by the spraying of American-supplied fusarium on their cocoa crops : an action some individuals and groups denounced angrily as "bio-warfare".

Far fetched ? One "non-profit" organization appeared to be paying almost twice as much for rent  as they reported in contributions, and its officers had lifestyles well beyond their stated salaries or visible means.

I believe those I think of as project organizers had established a loose-knit "network" of  supporters here and abroad : some of whom held useful posts at places like The US Army lab in Fort Detrick ,at a parallel German Army lab in Hamburg,and at other military/military contract facilities.

( The US Army labs had been penetrated before : quite thoroughly. Test results arrived at on a Monday were often in Soviet hands before the week ended -according to Russian Bio-weapons developer Ken Alibek.If this was possible during the Cold War-with its near-paranoid security measures,how much more possible it would be in the more-relaxed "post-war" period ! ) 

The recruitment of spies and other operatives has-in this country-quite often involved identifying and cultivating disillusioned and disaffected idealists - people who are more interested in causes than cash. (Those who work for cash , such as Walker and Hanssen,have usually been self-recruited "walk-ins".)

If you have a position of trust - and are a misguided idealist with outside loyalties,who is smart enough to hide that fact-there is a great deal you can accomplish in a government laboratory setting : whether it be the pilferage of tiny amounts of restricted materials, the forwarding of highly confidential information,or the diversion of equipment to a private site.

It would not surprise me to learn a mobile Biosafety Level 3 lab had been set up in someone's summer home; had been used,sanitized thoroughly, then quietly returned to its rightful owner - with no one the wiser.

If (and that's a very big if) the Anthrax Murderers are ever discovered I believe they will be revealed as 3 or 4 "movers and shakers" - some of whom may have extensive training in microbiology - and scores of "little people", who think what they are doing will make the world a better place , and who are willing to play a most dangerous game.

( With apologies to Domenic Behan , author of "The Patriot Game" , I suggest an additional verse)

Oh come ye misguided

An' list while I sing-

To despise yer own country

Is a worrisome thing :

It can draw ye to treason

Like a moth to the flame

An' make ye a part of

A most dangerous game !

Footnote: Re: Black Muslims- I've met quite a few Black Muslims, and was always impressed with their "precision" of speech, when talking to "outsiders".

I find it almost impossible to imagine a Black Muslim writing a note which lacked punctuation, and which contained an obvious spelling error ( the famed "penacilin").

I suspect the actual perpetrators wanted to imitate what they thought might be Black Muslim style - in order to divert attention away from themselves, AND-to increase the panic by suggesting this American Muslim sect (right here amongst us !) was responsible.

Footnote 2: The arrogance of the perpetrators was made evident in the very first line of the very first note : " This is next ". No attempt was made to clarify what "this" was - which leads me to believe the plotters took it for granted anyone who received the first letters would know what the grayish-white powder inside was.(Clearly, this person was a "lab geek" !)

The second note spelled things out for us "stupid Americans" - and included a "proofreaders" question mark: whose long tail is used to indicate lines on a student paper the professor disagrees with. ( This tells us our "lab geek" is also a college-level instructor.)

Footnote 3: To the Anthrax Murderers : Are YOU afraid yet ???

Anthrax -Anthrax-Anthrax ! ( Part One )

I realize any discussion of Anthrax -(more properly, the Anthrax Murders of 2001)-is in response to "a steadily diminishing number of requests"; but the topic is going to hit the news -perhaps big time-in a day or so,after Tuesday's meeting of the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee in Washington.

The scheduled topic is "bio-terror preparedness" ,and the discussions are supposed to involve dull, drab  statistics,( and calls for additional funding), but: the hearings are falling on or near the 6th anniversary of the Anthrax event, and there are political muscles to be flexed,journalists to be impressed,and political paybacks to be exacted; so,things could get a lot more lively than anticipated !

All the old theories and speculations will be trotted out : some wild; others persuasive.

At the risk of alienating readers,I'll pass along some of my own observations.

I don't believe al-Qaeda, or those we normally think of as Muslim extremists had anything to do with these letters - although there is a considerable body of evidence to show al-Qaeda wanted to go into the bio-warfare business-and even expended scarce funds in an effort to do so.(There is an exception,I'll get into later.)

Yes, I know it says : "Allah is great " on both sets of letters; but it says so on the last line: which is not where a fanatical (or even moderately devout) Muslim would put this statement. I've read a few thousand translated documents by now, and have noticed they always seem to open with a first line invocation (Ex: "To God, the merciful and sublime...") As others have pointed out, most Muslims would have said "God is great", rather than "Allah is great." ( Again,there is an exception.)

It also says: "Death to America " and " Death to Israel" - which should be ironclad proof of Muslim involvement...but isn't. Not neccessarily.

That combination of imprecations has been around for a very long time : so long that it is almost-standard "Left Coast" protest poster content : content displayed by the extreme left-wing crowd to show their " solidarity " with "the Palestinian Cause". It is doubtful this group is even religious - let alone Muslim !

These slogans date back to the days when the (former) Soviet Union, and its satellites promoted unrest in the Middle East, in hopes of cutting off oil supplies and vital links of  "The Main  Enemy" (us).The slogans worked to a degree, so the new " Support Non-Violence or We'll Kill You !" organizations folded them into their modernized recipes for discord.

The letters are also "overly cute" in their execution. It's my belief a computer typeface called "Segoe" (found in Word 97 and other word processing programs) was used; that the type size was carefully adjusted so it would fit . It was then printed out in bold face, then traced onto tracing paper with a fine point marker. The resultant product was then photocopied repeatedly.

The point of all this word processing and tracing was to eliminate as much evidence of the perpetrators as possible . ( Can you imagine Muslim fanatics-who are usually so eager for their deeds to be traced back to them, that they call the authorities to "claim credit" -going through such an elaborate dodge ? )

It is time, however, to discuss the exception I previously mentioned.

There is a sect of Muslims native to our country - some of who are very bad apples : not too surprising since the "orchard"  many of them were grown in was our nation's prisons. I refer, of course to the Black Muslims.

The Black Muslims are considered "apostates" by much of the Muslim world - although there has been some rapprochement in recent years. Black Muslims would probably use the name "Allah" , rather than "God". The most extreme members would subscribe to the use of "Death to the United States"- "Death to Israel" as slogans,as they consider themselves at war with "White America" , with Jews in general,and -to make a long list short-with anyone who is not one of them.

Unlike foreign-born Muslims - who could set up a strike, then hop a plane across the nearest national border, the Black Muslims are "home-grown", and would need to go to considerable lengths to protect their secrecy.

Would they have been capable of this attack ? I don't doubt it - but there are other "persons and/or groups of interest."

I hope to cover some of that ground in my next installment.

Ms Rabbit Gets the Pre-Halloween Jitters

Ms Rabbit seemed exceptionally  nervous this morning : trembling, poised for flight, and moaning softly to herself.

I didn't want to add to her discomfort, so I sat down quietly with my usual cup of coffee and waited.

After a while, she sidled up closer , and said : " Oh my goodness ! Oh my goodness ! I've just seen an awful sight !!"

"A red-tailed hawk ?", I asked solicitously. I know we have a few big ones that live in the nearby woodlands , and , on occasion , they'll soar over my house:scaring the bejabbers out of the squirrel polulation.

" Oh, no," she cried. It was a monster !!!

" Oh ? Something like this ? " , I asked , holding up an advertising circular, and thinking-perhaps- some child had been trying out a Halloween costume.

" Oh no ! It was worse ! Much, much worse !"

"Hmmm...," I said, hunting around for another ad. " How about something like this ?

" Oh, that doesn't scare me ! That's just an old-timey movie poster."

I scratched my head. This was getting a bit puzzling.

" Help me out here, my furry friend: Could you have been looking at someone wearing a costume ? "

" Don't be silly !", she snapped. " I know what Halloween costumes are !"

"Here', she said, and began fumbling around: coming up at last with a tiny digital camera. ( I don't believe I've ever seen one that size before !) "I took a picture."

                  

The resolution wasn't that great, but, if you'll click on the image , you'll see an obvious "Photoshop" manipulation. Well, at least I think it's a  Photoshopped image of Hillary !

"Gotcha !", giggled Ms Rabbit. 

Must Reading !! Follow Up Report on Suicide Squirrels !!

A Ms Goose exclusive : I have been burning the midnight oil in an effort to bring you the story behind the story on the massive epidemic of suicide squirrels - now threatening the very foundation of our Republic.

As you may recall, a woman in Bayonne, New Jersey was the first known victim of a suicide squirrel attack ...BUT, the refusal of Homeland Security officials to issue any comment leads me to suspect they may be concealing hundreds - even thousands of previous attacks !

The warlike attitude of squirrels is readily apparent in this candid shot. Our staff photographer caught them duelling with light sabers in a nearby park !

Eager to get to the bottom of things, I interviewed a couple I met on the street. ( Note: Our photographer was off doing something unsavory,so I had to make do with a snapshot they loaned me. They look a bit like this-only older.)

"Mr. and Mrs. C" declined to give their full names, but were otherwise quite outspoken. Mrs. C said the whole suicide squirrel problem was evidence of a massive failure on the part of the Republican Administration - but- barring a miracle, we would have to wait until 2008 before the problem could be addressed properly. Mr. C added : " Yeah. Whatever she said , darlin' ..."; then went on to admire my snowy white plumage , and to suggest dinner: "You'd be the Guest of Honor."

I was tempted (Mr. C is a silver-tongued devil !) , but I returned doggedly (or goosedly) to my investigation.

My next interview was with two Congressmen from the Southwest,whom I contacted because Bayonne, NJ is definitely southwest of Long Island,and because they were campaigning (whatever that is !)

After swearing me to absolute secrecy, the Congressmen told me the suicide squirrel attacks had been planned by Mossad,on behalf of vicious Rockefeller-Bilderberg-Zionists (only I should call them Neo-cons if I wanted to get my story published) who had duped the squirrels as part of a false flag operation, designed to deflect attention away from hundreds of millions of Mexican invaders-now crossing the border in Mexican trucks - to build secret "detention camps" for true Patriots. ( I'd tell you more, but I promised not to.)

Summarizing briefly, we are all doomed - but we need to keep one important fact in mind. Unfortunately, I have forgotten what that fact is.

Something about keeping the bowels open ? Well,anyway: that's something we geese are very good at !

Squirrels Are Out to Get Us !!

Those " cute,lovable wittle " squirrels are OUT TO GET US   !!!

A Bayonne,New Jersey woman discovered this yesterday - and, no.

I am NOT making this up as I go along. Check out this brief excerpt from the staid Jersey Journal:

Flaming squirrel ignites car in Bayonne

by N. Clark Judd

Thursday October 18, 2007, 7:29 PM

It's Rocky the Frying Squirrel!

A kamikaze squirrel fell from the sky and detonated a Bayonne woman's car yesterday, police said today. Further published details here:

Apparently, the radical, rapacious  rodent was gnawing on high voltage electrical lines, and finally succeeded in tearing away enough insulation to create an electrical firestorm.

Having done this, he then brought the hot wire down onto the woman's automobile : creating a fire and explosion.

Department of Homeland Security officials issued a terse "no comment" when asked if there was any truth to reports the squirrel had made a "martyrdom video" prior to his despicable act, and an ever terser " Get the hell off my phone, you cretin !" , when asked if the squirrel had screamed " Al'lah akhbar !" during his final dive.

We have assigned our star reporter to this case, and hope to have answers soon.

Meanwhile,  do not panic !

If you panic, the terrorists will have won.

Danger ! Danger !! New Chinese Import ???

  Click on image for detailed view.

ATTENTION PARENTS :

Are you beginning to wonder about all those Chinese toys ?

C'mon : lead paint ???

Hasn't it been general knowledge - for the last 30-40 years -in almost every nook and cranny of the globe - that lead paint ingestion by children can have serious consequences on brain function ? That children are extremely likely - because of teething, boredom, and sheer cussedness- to chew on painted objects ?

So, how likely is it that ignorance of this long-established body of information led to the use of lead paint in the manufacture of childrens' toys ?

Why, after the first cries of alarm - and subsequent mass recalls - did the Chinese continue to use lead paint ??

At the risk of seeming paranoid and xenophobic , I suggest the use of lead paint may have been deliberate : not as a cost-cutting measure, but as a subtle form of chemical warfare. (Why get into costly armed conflicts now ,when you can poison the enemy's children and roll them up a generation later ? Better still, you can turn a nice profit on the deed ! )

Well, that's it for now.

I have to go get measured for the tinfoil hat some of you are bound to suggest I start wearing.

Oh ! Before I go , could someone explain why certain folks are in a frenzy over an Inter- American Free Trade Agreement that would pretty much eliminate any economic incentive for trading with China ?

Walk Into the Morning

WALK INTO THE MORNING

(Duet)

E.J. (Gene) Finneran

(Male solo)

Here we stand

On the threshold of tomorrow-

Take my hand

Take my hand,let me share a dream with you...

(Female solo)

By your side

In a world of joy and sorrow

I'll abide-

I'll abide,and we'll make the dream come true.

(Chorus – Both)

Come, walk into the morning with me

Walk into the sun,

And stay with me ,until at last

The fading light is done -

Come share with me the happiness

The wonderment; the pain-

Come walk with me in sunlight

And I'll walk with you

In the rain.

(Verse 2 -male solo)

With this ring

With this promise of forever

I thee wed

And I pledge my love and loyalty to you...

(Verse 2 – female solo)

With this ring

With this pledge of love eternal

I thee wed,

Walking hand-in-hand, we'll make the dream come true.

(Chorus)

Al Gore: the Never-Ending Saga

Ms Rabbit hopped around me in a wide circle. She was curious - but cautious. Stopping at a safe difference, she peered at me intently, then cleared her throat.

"Ahem. Is...everything all right ?"

" We...that is, the squirrels and I have been listening to you rant and rave and pound the table ; so I  volunteered to come over and check you out. "

" It's been a bit exasperating lately. There was that business with the Democrats administering a kick in the shins to Turkey - one of our few allies in the Middle East- the other day . It turns out that was carefully planned : complete with advance research into things like what the President told the Armenian community back in 2000,when he  was first running for office. He promised the Armenians he would do something; but,to his credit,he declined to do so once he was elected- and had to deal with the reality of the situation."

" Next there's the whole Al Gore business. Talk about putting lipstick on a pig- first the man gets an Oscar for " The Day After Tomorrow" :an overblown movie about climate change that most scientists want no truck with; then he gets  a Nobel Peace Prize : awarded by some Norwegians who admit wanting to stick a finger in the Bush administration's eye."

" Norway is a kingdom - and spends all sorts of media time on the doings of the various members of the Royal Family; but politically , they have 3 flavors of Socialism : Medium Intensity, Extra Intrusive, and Communist Lite. They are very fond of Al Gore, and would like him to run for President again."

" There is also (Surprise ! Surprise !!) a "Draft Al Gore" movement , that wants to use Gore's "faux laurels" to promote him as a compromise candidate in the Democratic race."

Ms Rabbit nibbled thoughtfully on a piece of clover. " I take it you're not a big supporter of Mr. Gore. Why is that ?

Ah, Ms Rabbit : I thought you'd never ask !

Here's what I wrote on the subject in 2006. It's a longish essay, with quite a few links in it, so you might want to download it and bookmark for more leisurely perusal.

Meanwhile, Ms Rabbit and I are going to sample some nice Cranberry wine from Cream Ridge Winery-right here in New Jersey. Mmmmm....Mmmm ! Scrumptious !

Talking Turkey

 

A certain amount of cluelessness might be predictable in someone barely out of school , but, when I see it demonstrated by the august members of the House Foreign Relations Committee, I am stunned beyond belief !

The Committee voted (pretty much along party lines) to condemn Turkey for “acts of genocide against the Armenian people” : acts said to have occurred over 90 years ago,during the closing days of World War I – at a time when Turkey was still ruled by the old Ottoman Empire.

The charges are serious , and, according to an eye witness I knew personally, absolutely true . In 1915, millions of Armenians were uprooted from their homes ,and driven out ,on suspicion of “disloyalty to the Empire” . Between the neglect and depredations of the Turks and the neighboring Kurds , approximately one million perished. The League of Nations issued all sorts of statements “deploring” the slaughter, but nothing else was done. Adolph Hitler is said to have been inspired by the example of Turkey when he launched his own “final solution”.

So, why not issue a condemnation ?

As usual, there is quite a bit more to the story . The Ottoman Empire fell, and little by little, Turkey became a democratic (by Middle East standards) nation.

What's more, after World War II, they became allies of the United States : a spearpoint aimed at the Soviet underbelly – (and, I might add, a source of intense aggravation to the Extreme Left -here and abroad.) Turkish troops fought beside us in Korea, and, in time, Turkey became a full member of NATO : the North Atlantic Treaty Alliance.

Right now, although Turkey is officially a neutral party in the Iraq conflict, US forces in Iraq have Turkish permission to use their airspace for US cargo flights , and 70 % of the fuel, water, and other supplies our troops in Iraq need are trucked in from Turkey.

I'm sure we pay through the nose for all this help ; nonetheless , we rely on the good will of Turkey – whether it is purchased or freely given ; and the House Foreign Relations Committee,has, knowing full well how Turkey would react , persisted in slapping that proud nation across the face with a condemnation based on 90 year old charges !

The most charitable explanation I can offer for the Committee's action is a desire to be “high-minded and noble” at any cost : in short , cluelessness.

Footnote: A poster on another site added this comment:

Although thousands of Armenians died as a result, I don’t think it can be labeled genocide.

Some Armenians were aiding the invading Russian army by providing intelligence, ambushing Turkish supply columns, etc. For the same reason we moved the Japanese away from the west coast during WWII, the Turks moved Armenians away from the Russian front.

The difference was that the Ottoman government was total incompetent. The refugees starved, died from exposure,lack of transport for the ill and elderly, were attacked by angry mobs and bandits, causing untold suffering and death.

But, there were never orders from the government to exterminate Armenians and those who lived away from the front were not molested by the government.

The main reason the Ottoman government was overthrown was their corruption and inability to govern. At the same time the Armenians were being relocated, Turkish troops were freezing to death and dying from starvation because the government could not even supply its army.

Odd Happenings Across the Globe !

Strange things have been happening,and I suspect they are out there again ! ( "They" being the people who should, perhaps, be discouraged from adding to the gene pool.)

In Pittsburgh, a man tried to get change for what he thought was a million dollar bill (actually some sort of religious tract with a made-up image of a "million dollar bill" on one side.) He flew into a violent rage when the store not only refused to give him a million dollars worth of change, but confiscated the tract . Police had to be called after he started throwing things around.

In Calgary (Yes, Ms Goose: that's in Canada - where you're supposed to be ! ) there is an intrepid group of Unicyclists,named The Calgary Mountain Unipsychos.

This is a unicycle. You will note it has no steering, no brakes, no springs, no nothing. It is - at best - an ancestor of the bicycle . It is most often seen in circuses and small town parades.

Imagine riding up and down mountains on one of these...

Imagine the effect on (How shall I put it ?)...reproductive health !

Would you believe the Calgary group is far from being alone ? That there are other Mountain Unicyclers ?

Authorities in Duisberg, Germany have an urgent message for those who supplement their income by stealing copper cables : Please make sure you are not cutting into live wires ! This community service message was issued after the charred remains -(well, mostly one hand, still clutching wire cutters)-of a 32 year-old Kazakh immigrant were discovered near a shorted high tension line. Presumably, someone will file a law suit, claiming the ACHTUNG ! signs were not of the proper size, or were written in German. Or something.

Right here at home , having discontinued service to 2 telephones listed in my late wife's name ( and what a chore that was !), I am still getting bills - addressed to her-which cite negative balances due.

A negative balance - eg: negative $ 62.95 is actually a credit; and , according to the Phone Company, this credit balance is increasing every month !

They tacked on an additional negative $ 5.50 for October; bringing me up to negative $ 68.45 - noting no payment had been received.

Hmmm... Do you think I should let the credit balance get really high, and then demand payment ?

Oh No !! PRAYERS on my Patio !!!

  Tipped off by one of the squirrels (a notorious gossip !) I rushed to the window to see what was going on.

There,on my own patio,as brazen as could be , the members of my Patio Set were conducting something that looked suspiciously like a prayer service !

(Click on the image and see for yourself !)

As you probably know by now, I'm a person who tries to exercise great civility. If someone is grossly overweight and utterly vicious, I describe them as adiposely gifted and tempermentally enhanced.

If people wish to placate their deity of choice in the privacy of their own home, or in one of the places set aside for such odd rites, I am perfectly willing to overlook their foibles. I will even smile ( or grimace in patronizing fashion ) when they call upon their deity to "bless" me after I have sneezed. One must, after all, learn to tolerate such incantative mumblings if one is to get along with the less-evolved.

There are,however, limits to forbearance!

If the members of my Patio Set were indeed conducting a prayer service in my back yard , they were definitely exceeding those limits.

For one thing , this portion of my yard is visible to at least three (3) of my neighbors: making it a quasi-public area. For another thing,any chants or liturgical expressions that might arise were within earshot of at least four (4) neighbors: further eroding any illusion of  or claims to "privacy".

It's bad enough (infuriating, actually !) to have one's vehicular progress interrupted on Sunday mornings so that motorists visiting their worship-halls may be given unfair right-of-way advantages by thuggish "special officers" - who, even though they are unpaid volunteers who buy their own equipment-have all the appearance and color of authority, which is being employed in an Un-Constitutional fashion to further the establishment of religion per se...but I'm getting off on a tangent again!

I stepped forward personfully: determined to put this charade to an end.

I was intercepted by Ms Rabbit (who, as you will see by clicking on her picture) was all aglow. " Isn't it romantic ?", she cried.

" How wonderful of you to host a Same Set Wedding !!"

Same Set Nuptials ? On my patio ? I clapped my hands with delight.

"How splendid ! Carry on ! Carry on !!"

My friends will be so jealous when I tell them !

Footnote: I was a bit hesitant about posting this outrageous satire,but then,the following article in Newsday caught my attention:

http://www.newsday.com/business/ny-bzcond1009,0,6669478.story

Reality, it would seem, has a way of sneaking up on satire !

Ms Owl Reviews the News

When the squirrels,which had been cavorting rather shamelessly around the yard,disappeared like puffs of gray smoke, I poured a bit of Merlot into Ms Owl's drinking cup,and settled back to wait.

Sure enough, she drifted in - quickly and quietly - to accept the offered libation .

In case you have clicked on her image and are wondering about the snow,that shot was a formal portrait , done last winter.

Ms Owl snapped her beak appreciatively. " Mmm... Quite dry; but a nice fruity taste."

I splashed a bit more in her cup. " There you go. I see you have your reading glasses with you..."

" Oh. These ? I just need them for close work."

"Don't we all ? So, what's new and exciting in the news ? "

"Oh, my ! Where to start ? Let's see: Sandy Berger- you know: the former Clinton administration National Security Advisor ? Don't look so blank ! The one who visited the National Archives, and walked out with documents stuffed in his clothing?  Yes: that Sandy Berger ! Mr. Berger has joined Hillary Clinton as a campaign advisor, and there are rumors he has been promised a place in the new Clinton Cabinet if she wins."

" Then somebody in Seattle got the FBI all excited about a week ago by claiming a nuclear weapon had been smuggled in on a ship. When the agents got there -all hot and sweaty - the citizen pointed out a pumpkin and a squash...which the Feebies examined dutifully: announcing later-with straight faces-the two vegetables presented no apparent hazard to the  Republic."

" Oh. A Rhino  named Lulu , who lives in the Budapest Zoo, is expecting her second calf. She  was inseminated with the "love offerings" of a bull Rhino in Britain, named Simba."

"Ewww !", I said, pouring Ms Owl a bit more wine. " I don't think I'd like the job of collecting that !"

" For openers, how would you go about it. I mean, you don't just walk up to a bad-tempered animal that outweighs you by tons and say : " Pardon me, old chap, but I need a few cups of fertile fluids. Could you oblige ?"

Ms Owl was silent for a minute, then : " I suppose you would need to get him in the mood, somehow. Play Rhinoceros love ballads ,perhaps..."

"Maybe you could show him X-rated Rhino-erotic materials . Considering the wild variety of crap we  get as spam, there must be something !  You know: like- "Ten Ton Tillie Does Timbuktu ".

I looked Ms Owl in the eye. " You know something ? I don't want to even think about this anymore !"

Ms Owl looked back blandly. " A little bit Rhino-phobic are we ? "

Sometimes, she a real smart owl-ec !!

A Visit From Ms Blee-vay

As you may have noticed, I get a lot of visitors on my patio : some of whom arrive uninvited ; some of whom are a bit...strange.

Even so, I was completely  unprepared when an adisposely-gifted woman , bracketed by Confederate flags appeared. She was muttering to herself rather loudly - and profanely. The gist of her monologue seemed to be something about " White Power" ( with a lot of !!!!!!s thrown in.)

Click on her image and ask yourself : " How would I deal with this person ?"

Noting the Confederate flags around her, I opted for the genteel Deep South approach. Bowing deeply, I said : " Madam, you have the advantage of me."

"Hah !", she crowed. " Don't "Madam" me, you Rabbit-loving Yankee trash !"

Plumping herself down, uninvited on one of my patio chairs, she announced : " I am no Madam, sir ! I am Ms Blee-vay. That's spelled "B-L-I-V-E-T"

" How..... interesting ! Are you, by chance, of French ancestry ?"

" Hah !", she snarled. " No, fool ! I am of pure Aryan heritage !"

Seeing my puzzlement,she added: " Our family lived for a time in Alsace-Lorraine (which is, by rights a German province) and my forbears adopted the French pronunciation of our family name...as a sop to the locals, of course."

" Ho-kay. .....And the Confederate flags ? "

" Well...", She lowered her voice . "We don't care about a bunch of backward Southern rednecks; but they do supply us with muscle now and then. Besides, waving those flags around brings in a pile of donations !"

I made a show of looking at my watch. " This is all rather...fascinating, Ms Bliv...uh, Ms B, but what -exactly - are you doing here ? On my patio and in my chair ?"

"I came to warn you, Rabbit-lover !", she barked. " You have mocked my boyfriend, Hansl ...(Mr. Scheissekopf to you,swine !)...

    ...and you have made fun of the brown-haired, Blue-eyed Aryan Jesus I adore ! " She spat. " You say Jesus was Jewish : what a filthy thing to say in front of a good Christian woman like me  !!"

"And furthermore,  it is ALL about government or Global control and depleting Americans of their resources. Why do you think they have been importing poor 3rd world immigrants since 1965? Why do you think they allow and encourage illegal aliens from corrupt and poor countries into the U.S? To DILUTE the population of the U.S and to out-source middle class wage jobs and to in-source cheap labor at the same time, who will bleed the taxpayers dry through health care and every welfare program available. To create division (which 3rd world immigrants have done and will do)so as to conquer the Euro population of America. Looks like it has worked, unless Americans wake up and this time DO something instead of complaining, to stop the insanity engulfing what was once called America."

" Wow ! You sound just like a woman who posts on a certain website-only she claims to be 100%  American , not Aryan like you !"

" Are you calling me a copycat ? ", she demanded. " I'm leaving ! Right now !! "

"Hey ", I thought. " Don't let the gate hit you in the butt on the way out. I can't afford to buy a new one !!"

Speaking of Anthrax When I'd Rather be Talking About Ms Rabbit !

I'd much rather be talking about the make-believe adventures of Ms Rabbit - but six years ago, some sorry excuses for human beings mailed out letters containing trace amounts of deadly Anthrax bacilli.

As a result, 5 people died (that we know of),many more were sickened-including a little child, and the United States Postal system was - for a time - virtually paralyzed.

To say the general public was traumatized is an understatement. Even today,there are people who will look at the mere title of this essay, shudder, and move on without reading further . ( If it's any comfort, it's a topic that gives me the willies too!)

Whodunit theories abound - another understatement !

One of my correspondents prepared an exhaustive study,suggesting strongly the Anthrax murders were carried out by an al-Qaeda cell operating in the United States; but he has since withdrawn that opinion.

An amateur investigator named Edward G. Lake has published a book - " Analyzing the Anthrax Attacks" - at considerable personal effort and expense. Unfortunately, one of his premises - that the letters were written by a child (at the direction of an adult)-doesn't hold up ( If you have a Word or Star Office program on your computer,pull "Segoe Print" down from the typeface menu, and write out this line - in capital letters: "TAKE PENACILIN NOW" . See anything familiar ? )

There was - and probably still is - a group of Neo-Nasties from truly variant universes,who try to relate the Anthrax attacks of 2001 to the marital indiscretions of a retired Army major , who used to work in a bio-defense lab, and who had the sort of relationship with a female employee that kept him returning to the lab on evenings she was working...even after he had officially retired. The major, you see was an obvious suspect: he was (Gasp! Choke !) Jewish !!

Sorry, Neo-Nasties , but the incidents you keep ranting about took place in 1996. The Anthrax used in the attacks was fresh : less than a year old.Moreover, it was not brewed up anywhere near the too-gallant major. Lab testing shows it was brewed in the Northeast, in an area with extremely distinctive water. ( No, not the sort of water found near Ft. Detrick , Maryland either.)

The FBI is playing this hand close to their bulletproof vests , but you don't have to be a genius to figure out which area in the northeast would have the most distinctive water. It's Suffolk County, New York : specifically that section which shares groundwater with Brookhaven National Labs.

For at least 12 years , a leaky containment vessel at Brookhaven Labs allowed slightly radioactive Tritium (a heavy Hydrogen variant) to seep into the ground water. Tests showed Tritium levels were twice the allowable limit in some areas; 32 times higher than permissible in other areas. The nuclear facility was - owing to enormous popular outcry-shut down abruptly in 1997...but distinctively contaminated water remains a problem.

I could segue into my personal theory, but even a casual recital of half-formed suppositions could ruin personal and professional reputations - without bringing us closer to knowing who played that vicious game of " Mr. Postman" six years ago.

Sorry, Ms Rabbit ! 

I'm not going to tell you, either !!

Conversations with Mr. Meangenes:Talkin' Country ...an' Stuff

Mr. Meangenes joined me on the patio this morning, as I settled down with a big bowl of Cereal. He eyed me as I sprinkled some raisins on top.

"You gonna eat all them raisins by yourself, are you ?"

" I suppose," I asked  sarcastically. " I suppose you're going to want a bowl of cereal to go along with them ?"

" It wouldn't hurt none," he drawled. " Spoon'd go real nice too."

Oh boy ! Not only was he  scrounging  breakfast, but he was "talkin' Country"  today !!

Nonetheless, I went back to the kitchen and fixed a big bowl of Rice Chex. It was a good thing I had, because, when I got back, old Meangenes was scarfing down my bowl of cereal !

"Set, down, set down !", he invited. " Make yerself to home."

I gritted my teeth. More cornpone Clodhopper John talk ! 

It reminded me of when I used to sell musical strings and accessories at Bluegrass jams and festivals.

People who had Harvard MBAs, and who drove BMWs would saunter up to my stand and say things like "How much are these-here wires ?" ( They would pronounce the word as "wahrs".) Why did they talk that way ? I guess they thought they were "talkin' Country".

Conversely I noticed some of the Bluegrass performers, who were from the Deep South, or who lived in the hills of Kentucky, would lose their regional accents when negotiating the price of strings.Some of them would get downright "Harvard MBA" !

Politicians - who, when you think about it, depend heavily on "shuckin' and jivin'" to win and keep their jobs - have become notable for their ability to "talk the talk" with their consitiuents. Hillary Clinton , out on the campaign trail , made a "down home" speech to a friendly, largely Black audience. (I say "friendly" because no one in the audience got up and shouted : " Girl, You talk that way at home ??? ")

Speaking of "down home" expressions , there is one that has made its way through the Black and White communities like a dose of salts : the vague, ubiquitous, and iniquitous "an' stuff".

" I was drivin' down the road at fifty miles an hour an'stuff when this cop pulls me over. I mean I see his flashers an'stuff,so I go: "Whoa! " An' stuff,an' I pull over, an' he ax me for my license an' stuff, an' I go: "I musta left it home an'stuff..."

Just thinking about it, I started to break into a cold sweat . Must-get-off-this-topic-before-I-start-to-say-"an'stuff" !!!

Mr. Meangenes looked up from his cereal, and peered at me intently : "What ??"

I shook my head. " Nothin' . Leastaways, no big thang.Say: listen: You faxin' ta eat up all them-thar raisins  ?"

" Look at you !", I went on. " Land o' Goshen, boy ! You got a belly on ya like a June frog !"

Mr. Meangenes looked shocked. " Man, you talk that way at home ........an' stuff??"

Embers

1.

When the lovin' talk crackles, and sparks start to fly;

As you tenderly whisper my name-

It's so good to be here, and to feel the warm glow

When the embers of love turn to flame !

(Bridge)

We're alone now at last - all the children are gone

They're all grown up-we're finally free:

Free to kindle the blaze of those bright courtship days;

Free to be lovers-finally free !

(Chorus)

Love , kindled long ago

Tender kisses that warm us anew-

Come feel the afterglow

Come let me share it with you !

2.

Oh, there's snow on the roof, but the fire's not out:

We're not too old for a sweet lovers' game -

Not too old to embrace and to whisper soft words

As the embers of love turn to flame !

(Bridge and Chorus)

Dancin' in the Morning Rain

Lately I've been wandering

Golden fields of memory-

Where it's always a bright new morning

In a world made just for me:

The breath of Spring is on my cheek,

And there's no more tears or pain-

And  the Great Blue Herons dance for me

In the early morning rain.

(Chorus)

Father Time, don't hurry me !

Let me sip the wine of memory-

It's my time to go

Lord, I guess you know

I won't be comin ' back again !

I want to be where mountain eagles fly-

Want to soar with them so free and high-

Want to be again where the Great Blue Herons

Are dancin' in the morning rain !

(2)

I met her by the millpond

At the very break of day :

She had come to watch the Herons dance

But she stole my heart away !

Oh, she's gone for almost thirty years

But in happy dreams I see

How the morning sunlight touched her hair

And the way she smiled at me.

(Chorus)

Conversations With a Rabbit: Way Too Much Information !"

Ms Rabbit came hopping up, just as I settled down on the patio with my coffee and newspaper. She seemed rather...agitated. Perhaps, "wildly indignant" would be a better description. Click on her image (It's safe to do so),and you can judge for yourself.

"I did not ", she declared. biting her lip. " I did not have sex with that rabbit ! " There was a brief ( hopefully,not pregnant ) pause.

" Roger Rotter" , she added , biting her lower lip again.

I glanced at her obvious distress, and decided to be non-committal. " Ummm."

" Yes !", she shouted. " We did gambol in the moonlight , and Yes : I did sing "The Wedding Song" to Roger; and yes : he did clasp me in his brawny-yet-supple paws, and Yes ! It was heavenly, but - we did not have sex : at least not in the strictest definition of the word. What we did was..."

"Whoa !", I exclaimed. " Too much information !"

"But don't you want to hear what we did ?"

" No ! Way too much information !!"

I picked up my newspaper , and discovered I wasn't the only one suffering from information overload.

Justices Mc Kee, Barry, and Fisher, at the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals in Philadelphia heard arguments yesterday in a First Amendment case involving an East Brunswick,NJ high school coach, who had previously won the right to bow his head or kneel during student-led prayer at athletic banquets and games.

An appeal against the coach's previous court victory had been filed - on behalf of the school board - by Americans United for the Separation of Church and State : a group made up primarily of atheists and agnostics . Americans United had predicted a "slam - dunk" victory the day before : noting (through a sympathetic reporter) Justice Mc Kee was well known for his advocacy of separation. and Justice Barry-who favors abortion rights-was considered quite likely to agree with Mc Kee.

The slam-dunk didn't go quite as anticipated. Justice Barry was openly critical: describing the school board's policy as "vague and overbroad."

Justice Mc Kee, while expressing concerns about whether the Coach had stepped over the line in the matter of student prayer, downplayed the significance of the case: describing it as "...a matter of some local school board politics."

" We are trying to get a handle on the First Amendment," Judge Mc Kee complained," By a handful of smoke".

The Judge was also unhappy with the Americans United brief: noting it contained 70 pages - when 20 would have done - and that much of the extraneous material consisted of personal attacks on the coach. " This is not the World Wrestling Foundation," Mc Kee told the AU attorney. " You don't need to get down in the gutter and start throwing garbage at somebody."

There are hints the appeal may be rejected on the grounds it is moot. (A ruling is expected in a few weeks.)

I put down my paper and looked around for Ms Rabbit. She was hunkered down in the back of the yard, giving one of the squirrels the lowdown on her "big date".

Some say we live in the Information Age. I'm beginning to think we live in the Way-Too-Much-Information age.

The State Preserve Us ! School Prayer Case Appeal to be Heard !!

For a change, it looked as if I would have a quiet,stress-free morning on the patio : no critters, no odd characters.Then the morning newspaper caught my eye.

FEDERAL APPEALS COURT TO HEAR SCHOOL PRAYER CASE

(This is a Gannett paper so I can't excerpt.) You may read the article itself here:   http://www.thnt.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071003/NEWS/710030366/1001/

In brief, a coach at East Brunswick, NJ High School continued a custom of long standing when - 25 years ago - he followed the (rather widespread) coaching practice of permitting his teams to offer their own non-denominational prayers at sports banquets and in the locker room. To honor them, he would bow his head , or kneel, but would remain silent himself.

In September of 2005, some students complained about the practice, and the school board ordered the coach to desist. The coach resigned in protest , but rescinded his resignation 10 days later on advice of counsel, and filed a lawsuit alleging the abridgement of his civil rights. In July,2006, the Federal District court upheld the coach in all respects ; and the school board declared itself satisfied.

Enter Americans United for the Separation of Church and State , a non-sectarian group,made up primarily of atheists and agnostics, which offered to pay for an appeal by the East Brunswick board of education. The Board agreed,and arguments are being heard today in the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals.

Wow ! Things have DEFINITELY changed !!

In 1938, I first became aware there were other religions  when I entered First Grade. (I was just 4 1/2 years old at the time, lived on a farm, and had only my older brothers for playmates.)

The source of this startling bit of information was the daily bible reading (always from the Old Testament) and the school prayer in which the teachers would lead us. I was part of a tiny Roman Catholic minority , and had never heard the words "For Thine is the kingdom, and the power,and the glory,forever and ever " tacked on to the Lord's Prayer before the final "Amen".

There were prayers at assemblies,and incredibly long-winded invocations at graduation excercises : usually delivered in the loud,nasal, hectoring tones Protestant clergy of that time considered appropriate.

I DO NOT look back at that era with with fond nostalgia !!

I have, in fact become fairly secular - like most people - I guess : secular in a rather casual live-and-let-live way. 

There are people who say: " Thank you, Lord for this meal " ; and there are others who say : " Thank God, that's the last of this stew !"

I tend to fall in the latter category - mainly because I'm eating my own cooking ;but sometimes I wonder if the " Secular Humanism " being exercised by Americans United and its counterparts isn't well on the way to becoming a religion in its own right.

I could almost imagine a Secular Humanist "Ten Commandments".

First: I am the State,thy State. Thou shalt not have others-especially deities- before me.

Second: Thou shalt not engrave false images upon paper and pass the same off as lawful monies of the State.

Third: Thou shalt not criticize thy State or the Officials thereof.

Fourth: Remember Election Day,and forget not to cast thy vote for the suitable candidates we shall commend unto you......

Oh, well: Let's see what happens in court today !

Oh----Boy !! Ms Rabbit Is In Love !

I hadn't seen Ms Rabbit all day, although I heard her last night. She was singing - in that impossibly high Rabbit soprano (which sounds pretty much like a scream) - something that sounded like:

"I'm gonna love you - like nobody loves you - come rain or come shine !"

I think that's what it was . All I know for sure is that it was pretty intense.

Late this afternoon , she hopped - rather unsteadily - into the yard. She seemed rather dazed, and disinclined to conversation.

Aw,heck ! Click on her image, and you'll see what I mean !!

Rabbits : They grow up so fast these days , don't they ?

Let's see: What else is going on in the neighborhood ?

Oh ! The local newspaper has "discovered" New Jersey officials are corrupt ...and that we love 'em so much we re-elect them anyhow. (Odd as it may seem, these media revelations don't seem to pop up during election season, when they might make a difference; and, if you check campaign financing websites, you'll sometimes find the newspaper-and many of its employees-have contributed to the corrupt candidates -possibly to make sure they'll get a decent share of the lucrative Legal advertising.)

I'd ask Mr. Meangenes about it, but he is off "doing research" with Mr. Winesnob : something about the merits of slop chute beer vs screw-top wine...

Mr. Scheissekopf Conducts a " Reasoned Dialogue" on Immigration

I was in the kitchen, fixing a sandwich, when I heard loud shouts coming from the patio. Glancing out the window, I saw Ms Rabbit crouched on the grass , trembling with fear,and trying to figure out which way to run.

The shouting started again: " Come out here, you damned Rabbit-lover !!"

I raced outside, and looked around- and looked around - before I finally spotted a dimunitive, rather pinheaded looking critter sitting on one of the patio chairs.

"Who or what the hell are you ? " , I demanded. " I can just about see you over there !"

" Click on my image, stupid !", my visitor snarled. " It is I : Scheissekopf ...MISTER Scheissekopf to YOU, swine !" Damn, what a loudmouth he was !

I looked him over carefully. " Nice earrings !", I commented insincerely.

"The little red garnets in the eyesockets are a ...nice touch. Waffenfabrik SS  1942, if memory serves me correctly..."

" Never mind my earrings", growled Scheissekopf ( Ooops ! MR. Scheissekopf !!)

" I've got a few things to say to you,Rabbit lover !!"

" First of all, you claimed Hispanics represent about 14 % of the US population.

Where do you get 14%? Filthy beaners exceed 50% in many states and the list is growing almost as fast as the child raping incest prone idiots can run, jump, swim, fly, drive, boat, and crawl through tunnels to get here, to commit their crimes against us, because it's slim pickens over in sheetz-ico, too many criminals, too few victims, in other words."

" My !",  I said mildly. " You do have a certain ...way with words !  I know it wasn't you who suggested branding captured illegal immigrants - on their faces - so they would be recogognizable if they crossed the Border again ; but, this sounds like you :

"How about a long stint in a labor camp to pay for everything from settlements for border patrol families of slain officers & all enforcement costs on down to the actual branding iron?"

Scheissekopf beamed. " Yah ! That was me ! That was me !!"

"Ah ! And that was me who said all you would need is one of those nifty concentration camp signs : "Arbeit Macht Frei"  (Work will set you free.)"

" That must have annoyed you, Scheissekopf, because you then posted this inspiring reply: 

"So you are a stupid beaner/pro open border fool???? Who talk to rabbits? AZ rabbit here: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8228704796043731366"

Okay, folks, enough dialogue.

My main reason in posting this was to demonstrate,by using actual cut-and-pasted remarks, taken from other websites,just how bad "civil discourse" has gotten.

Illegal immigration is a problem- no: make that a HUGE problem -and  Neo-Nasties of one sort or another -anti-immigrant, and pro-immigrant- are milking it for all it is worth ; and some, in doing so, pose an actual danger to the nation.

Ignore that danger at your peril.

I assure you, Ms Rabbit takes it very seriously !